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Dear Parents:

It is here I lay to you Exhibit A: Proof that Emma has been using sunscreen, not only regularly but all the freakin’ time.

I AM WHITE OH LORD

I think this picture speaks for itself. No need to continuously ask me if I’ve been using sunscreen because I am sure you can tell from this, that I most definitely have been. I appreciate the concern, nevertheless, and kindly request you turn your concerns towards my friend, the elusive Kelly, who has taken a moral stance against sunscreen and all sun-care related products. Use your parental powers on her; she definitely needs them because she is going to return with LOTS AND LOTS OF CANCER.

XOXO

Your ever-reliable, responsible and intelligent daughter,

Emma

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